I played baseball, high school football (although I played second string and mostly sat on the bench) and tennis. I became proficient in many sports and became an excellent swimmer.

Now, it became a battle. Two forces diametrically opposed were fighting for possession of my being. At times my masculine side would win out and the femin- ine forgotten for awhile. Then suddenly, a look, a scent, a magazine photograph, would suddenly throw all the preceding intentions out the window and I would be again yearning with a fierce desire for my feminine place in the world.

This struggle went on for all of my teenage years. It was known only to myself, for I confided in no one. Many times when I would elect to stay at home when the rest of the family went out, I was looked upon with some wonder. No one realized that the minute the car was out of the driveway I would rush into my parents bedroom and try on the many underthings of my mother that would fit me. The thrill of a girdle, slip and hose was so great that any sacrifice to be made was small in comparison. And, there were many times when I was almost discovered. These were extremely nerve- wracking, but who could stop under any circumstances.

Up until late in high school most of my entries into the feminine world were imaginative, done only through the use of clothes, and strictly in private. This was my own secret and funds were limited. I had no feminine clothes of my own and of course, no wig. I began to search through drugstores and bookstores for any and all information on female impersonators. Any story or picture thrilled me to pieces as I imagined my- self the person in the picture. I resolved many times to become a female impersonator. However, I had no real money to speak of, no talent, and what's more I loved my family too much to disgrace them with a son who in their minds would have been abnormal. So the desire grew stronger and I grew older and more indepen- dent.

In 1951, after one year of junior college, I decided to join the Air Force for two reasons. (1) to become

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